Monday, May 27, 2013

My New Babe

The newest addition to my family, my second daughter, was born on May 10th, 2013 at 7:53 pm weighing in at 6 lbs 15 oz and measuring 20 inches long.  After 29 hours of induced labor and only 3 minutes of pushing, with family and close friends by my side, Teagan Rose was finally here, 41 weeks after her conception.  I cried, daddy cried, Oma cried and her big sister Ardanata clapped her little hands away in unknowing surprise and happiness.

Teagan spent the first two days of her life with me and daddy, in my recovery room being no more fussy than your average baby but for some spitting up issues, a few tremors when disturbed and a small rash on her chin.  All of these things are symptoms from withdrawal. And soon she became so fussy and obviously uncomfortable that I had no choice but to say yes when they asked if I wanted her to go to the nursery for the night. 

As I'm sure I mentioned in an earlier post, I have to take Oxycodone on an every 4 hours, every day schedule.  I have chronic pain in my low back due to a twisted spine which I got from a car accident I was in six years ago and I take the Oxycodone to numb the pain enough for me to function on a daily basis. 

As with all mothers who give birth to children who are addicted to any medication at birth, they started rating Teagan according to her symptoms.  A 10 is the highest and worst number a new baby can get with a 1 being the lowest and best.  For the first two nights she was rating 3's and 5's.  With the last night she had rated three 8's and a 5.  The 8's are what pushed the decision for her to go into the NICU for observation and possible treatment for withdrawal symptoms. 

Thankfully, Teagan ended up having to go into the NICU for only two and a half days.  That's right, only two and a half days!  Not a week like with my first daughter and my new babe didn't need any meds to help her with the withdrawal symptoms either!  I was elated. 

We brought her home, got her tucked in and settled and everything has been going pretty well but my elation soon turned into sleep deprivation which has now turned into a massive migraine that I am still battling.  I wouldn't change any of it for anything in the world, though.

And despite the fact that a change in hormone levels has made my bipolar disorder and depression become so far out of control that I actually asked my psych doctor to help me out and give me something more than what I'm already taking, I love my girls with all my heart and soul.

My psychiatrist did as I asked without any hassle and even gave me back my anti-anxiety medication, which I am eternally grateful for, because they help calm me down once I've gone into full panic mode and can't get back out on my own. 

It was a long six months without that medication and I am happier than a clam to have it back in my grubby little paws.  Don't misunderstand, I am no addict, I just can't believe I even made it that long without it.  I can't believe my fiance made it that long without my anti-anxiety medication.   He is a saint for putting up with me and my craziness that long.  

All in all, I'm just glad to have my body back to myself once again and I plan on keeping it that way for a very, very long time.  It feels fantastic to bend down and touch my toes or to lean forward and not have a little person pressing down on my bladder or up into my ribs.  But just like a quote that I found one day while surfing the ever expanding interwebs, "No one will ever know the strength of my love for you.  After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside." I will always have a strong connection to my children no matter how much suffering I went through in order to bring them into this world, healthy and relatively happy. 

In the meantime, my new babe Teagan is giving me hell with her schedule being all bass ackwards, sleeping during the day and being awake at night, so I must go and try to correct this, again.  Just one of those little things again.  :) 

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