Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Woes

I have woes.  I know you probably do as well.  If you don't, you are one lucky individual.

Woes can be from or about anything, really.  Be it relationship woes, financial woes, emotional woes, etc., they all bother us.  They're always there, constantly in the backs of our minds, poking and prodding at our conscience from time to time or more frequently than that even. 

Whatever it may be, they can interfere with our daily lives. 

Trust me, I know this from experience.  I have sat many a night and pondered how to solve the issues/problems that make up the base of my woes.  I've lost sleep over them.  I've snapped on family and friends because they irritate me so and I get so overwhelmed that it gets to me and affects my mood. 

My mental stability isn't all that great to begin with, being bipolar and all, even on medication it isn't that great but I do try to keep it from interfering with my personal relationships.  It's hard.  It's very very hard for me.  It's a constant battle and I do fail now and again and after I've exploded and my rational mind returns I feel horrible about what I've done and try to mend my fences, apologize for my outbursts and carry on. 

Most of my family and friends know these facts about me and will accept my apology and will move on with me.  I'll admit, however, that I have lost a few friends/acquaintances because of my mental health disorder and effects on my emotional stability.  And it hurts to know that some people who could have been decent friends can't be understanding enough to overlook my flaws and see the real me and appreciate who and what I am. 

All of that aside though, what do you do about your woes?  Do you try to fix them?  Solve the issues or problems that make them up?  Or do you let them eat away at you and dwell on them?  What if it's something you have no control over whatsoever?  Then what do you do? 

I dwell on those.  I hate them, those woes, the ones you can't control, the ones you can't escape or do anything about.  The ones that you just have to sit and wait and be patient for them to work themselves out.  I hate when things like that end up taking over my mind and hurting me emotionally, mentally. 

I need to learn to let things go.  I need to learn to loosen the reigns of my life a bit and watch how things turn out and stop worrying over the things I have no control over and there's nothing I can do about them. 

That's a feat in and of itself, for me anyway.  I really have a hard time letting go, loosing control, letting my problems take a backseat in life and just move on, living and letting be. 

Ah well, once again, it's one of those little things.   It's a little thing I really need to work on and let be. 

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