On 05/13/2013 I underwent minimally invasive surgery to remove a synovial cyst that was wrapping around and pressing against my right sciatic nerve root. The doctor was able to remove all of the cyst, thankfully, because this means less chance of it coming back. He was also able to decompress most of my nerves that were already compressed because of the cyst. Surgery lasted a little over 2 hours and I was sent home the same day.
Weird, I know. Spinal surgery done and sent home the very same day only mere hours after having someone cut you open and dig around inside your spinal area to remove a cyst and decompress nerves is a scary thing...to a degree. It also gives me a sense of wonder and amazement of how far we've come in medical science over the past 30 years or so.
I say that because 30 years ago, I would still be in the hospital with a probably near foot long incision instead of a mere 2 inch incision along my spine, and I'd probably have lost use of my legs, at least temporarily until all the swelling went down.
But that's not how things happened. I have a very small incision to worry about healing up properly, along with a whole lot of swelling and I can feel, literally FEEL how swollen my poor decompressed nerves are. They hurt, they burn, they tingle, with every movement they are irritated. I can't even sit up straight or lean forward like I used to, I'm in this constant half upright, half leaned forward position because that's what's most comfortable for me right now.
And my bedroom is on the second level of our home. Stairs are assholes at this point. You wanna know why? Because with every step, every shift of my hips, every movement of my leg in any manner causes extreme shooting pains down my right leg.
That right sciatic nerve is beyond irritated, it's friggin angry at this point. I can't move my neck too much, was told not to since it may cause undue irritation to my nerves in my low back and may even cause permanent nerve damage if I do too much repetitive motion with my head.
I am not allowed to lift or carry anything over 5 lbs, this would include both my children because they both weigh over 20 lbs a piece. A gallon of milk is almost out of the question, I tried, it hurt but I did it. I won't be doing it again anytime soon, that's for sure.
I went on my first outing out of the house today to run some errands for my girls, they needed their WIC stuff and I needed my anti-anxiety meds so my mother took me and my oldest daughter out. Walking around the store was slow going and painful with every step. Reaching for things was completely out of the question so I needed help there and I couldn't even try to lift the two gallons of milk to put them in the cart because I had already done too much and my nerves hurt bad.
We then ventured to the pharmacy where I had to go inside and walk to the back of the store so I could get my prescription since their drive-thru was backed up and I really needed to get home. That was also a mistake, walking through yet another store was not something I should have done but I did it anyway.
And now I'm regretting it. All of it. I got home and helped carry groceries in (stupid idea), went upstairs to help my husband clean our room up a bit (another stupid idea), started laundry by myself (really stupid idea) and then I picked up my daughter by her arm and lifted her to my mother so she could get her butt changed (really really stupid idea).
So now I'm sitting here, in regret, hurting quite a bit from things that could have been avoided but I'm not one of those people who can just sit back idly and do nothing while there are things that need to be done around me. I have to help. I feel compelled to help. It's like I have no choice in the matter. And I feel terrible when I can't help. Really terrible. Like a useless lump that is just sitting in the chair doing nothing being lazy even though that's not the case at all, that's how I feel.
So aside from not following my discharge instructions to an exact "T", I've been pretty much lounging around in my pajamas since Tuesday evening, in excruciating pain, trying to find a comfortable position (which is a joke because there isn't one) and basically doing nothing.
Then my body and Mother Nature throw me a curve ball to add to my misery. I started my monthly cycle the same day of surgery and then while eating some of my famous homemade popcorn last night, half of my left front molar broke off. *sigh* I just can't win.
Surprisingly, my tooth isn't painful. This means that either A) My nerve died off ages ago which is a likely possibility considering the amount of trouble I've had with it in the past or B) It will become painful eventually and then it's going to hurt like a mofo til I get it pulled or capped.
I have no money right now to get my tooth pulled. I have no dentist in the area who will take my state insurance. So I just have to live with a broken tooth for a while.
All of this going on and there are still other things that need to be done and I can't do them yet because I can't drive myself and I can't pick up my kids and I can't ask my mother to drive me all over gods creation, I can't bend in the middle without excruciating pain in my hips and leg, can't twist, can't pick things up off the floor, can't stand to do dishes. I even needed help taking a shower last night because it hurt too much to put my arms over my head to wash my hair.
It's a long tough road of recovery ahead. I was told between 6 and 9 weeks for full recovery. I see my neurosurgeon next week Wednesday, the day after my birthday actually, to see if he'll finally clear me for driving and make sure my incision is healing well.
I'll keep you all updated on my progress and try to post more often. I realize I've been slacking lately and I do apologize but I have had many many things on my mind as of late and my blog just got pushed to the back of my mind, is all. Now that this surgery is all over with I hope to get back on track with all of my writing and blogging. Thanks folks for sticking by me and being patient with me.
I truly appreciate it. You all are phenomenal people and I'm glad to count you as my fans. :)
Friday, May 16, 2014
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Living With Chronic Pain Part 1: Does Surgery Always Have To Be Scary?
As some of you may or may not know, depending on if you follow me, I have had chronic low back pain for many years. I recently found out that the supposed cause of all or most of my pain is a synovial or fluid filled cyst about 6 mm by 8 mm pressing and wrapped around my right sciatic nerve root in my lower lumbar spine. This is supposed to be the cause of all of my low back aching, throbbing and stabbing and also the cause of the numbness, tingling, weakness and burning I have going on in my right leg.
I have also been informed that I have a pars defect. In laments terms this means I have a birth defect in one of my lumbar vertebra causing it to never fully fuse together. It's a hereditary thing and both my mother and sister have it, as well. I honestly never thought I would have it, too.
Knowing what I know now, my life has changed forever. I have to go in for surgery to have this cyst removed and hopefully reduce if not completely remove this pain that I have every day, regardless of weather or physical condition of the day, I am always in pain. That's what chronic pain is.
Chronic pain is endless. It never goes away. It's always there. You have your good days, where pain isn't so bad and you can function better than your bad days where you can barely move (today is one of the bad days, I woke up unable to sit forward) but no day is a day without pain. I'm not even joking about that.
I have no days where I am feeling no pain. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being little to no pain and 10 being the pain of birth which is the greatest pain I've ever felt before in my life, I live, on average, with a pain level of 5-7. Every. Single. Day.
That's chronic pain. That's why some days I have no issues getting up and moving and other days it takes me hours, literally HOURS to go and do something that would take an average person only an hour or so.
What takes me so long, you wonder? I have to motivate myself to want to move. I am that uncomfortable some days. So under the knife I go, to find out if getting this cyst removed will decrease my pain at all.
I have to remember that I have other issues besides just this cyst causing me daily pain but the root of most of my pain is in my back and leg on the right hand side at the base of my spine. I can't even press on that spot because of increased pain. I can barely wear tight pants because if they press on that part of my spine in any way I am beyond uncomfortable.
Surgery is a scary thought, for me anyway. I don't like the idea of being cut open and having someone dig around inside to fix a problem my body created due to extreme stress on that area no matter how skilled or qualified said person is.
I don't like the idea of being completely and totally out of it and having no control over a situation. That's where the anxiety about surgery comes from. I don't like not having control of my own life, my own body.
And the panic starts to set in.
Why does surgery always have to be scary? Because it is. It's a scary thing. Your life and all things in it and about it are the hands of another human being. And it matters to me that he's qualified, Dr. Max Lee, the neurosurgeon who is doing my surgery (whom I will shameless plug because he's the most qualified in his field in my area of the country) but at the same time, it doesn't.
I know this blog is all over the place. And I'm sorry for that. I try to keep things organized but on bad pain days like today, I just can't.
The reason it matters to me is because I'm not going to let just anyone dig around near my spine with needles and sharp instruments. I'm also not going to just let anyone with a qualification to do it dig around in their, either though. I want to think and feel that the person doing this surgery actually cares about me and my well being. I want to think that they have a heart and are actually worried about how I will fare during and after surgery. I don't want them thinking I'm just another statistic, another body, another number, another surgery, another dollar sign, etc.
This means a lot to me and worries me at the same time. I don't like it. I don't like being scared. I don't like thinking I may not make it through this with good results. So I have to stay positive.
Try as I might, that is one of the hardest things for me to do because surgery is scary. And it always will be.
I have also been informed that I have a pars defect. In laments terms this means I have a birth defect in one of my lumbar vertebra causing it to never fully fuse together. It's a hereditary thing and both my mother and sister have it, as well. I honestly never thought I would have it, too.
Knowing what I know now, my life has changed forever. I have to go in for surgery to have this cyst removed and hopefully reduce if not completely remove this pain that I have every day, regardless of weather or physical condition of the day, I am always in pain. That's what chronic pain is.
Chronic pain is endless. It never goes away. It's always there. You have your good days, where pain isn't so bad and you can function better than your bad days where you can barely move (today is one of the bad days, I woke up unable to sit forward) but no day is a day without pain. I'm not even joking about that.
I have no days where I am feeling no pain. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being little to no pain and 10 being the pain of birth which is the greatest pain I've ever felt before in my life, I live, on average, with a pain level of 5-7. Every. Single. Day.
That's chronic pain. That's why some days I have no issues getting up and moving and other days it takes me hours, literally HOURS to go and do something that would take an average person only an hour or so.
What takes me so long, you wonder? I have to motivate myself to want to move. I am that uncomfortable some days. So under the knife I go, to find out if getting this cyst removed will decrease my pain at all.
I have to remember that I have other issues besides just this cyst causing me daily pain but the root of most of my pain is in my back and leg on the right hand side at the base of my spine. I can't even press on that spot because of increased pain. I can barely wear tight pants because if they press on that part of my spine in any way I am beyond uncomfortable.
Surgery is a scary thought, for me anyway. I don't like the idea of being cut open and having someone dig around inside to fix a problem my body created due to extreme stress on that area no matter how skilled or qualified said person is.
I don't like the idea of being completely and totally out of it and having no control over a situation. That's where the anxiety about surgery comes from. I don't like not having control of my own life, my own body.
And the panic starts to set in.
Why does surgery always have to be scary? Because it is. It's a scary thing. Your life and all things in it and about it are the hands of another human being. And it matters to me that he's qualified, Dr. Max Lee, the neurosurgeon who is doing my surgery (whom I will shameless plug because he's the most qualified in his field in my area of the country) but at the same time, it doesn't.
I know this blog is all over the place. And I'm sorry for that. I try to keep things organized but on bad pain days like today, I just can't.
The reason it matters to me is because I'm not going to let just anyone dig around near my spine with needles and sharp instruments. I'm also not going to just let anyone with a qualification to do it dig around in their, either though. I want to think and feel that the person doing this surgery actually cares about me and my well being. I want to think that they have a heart and are actually worried about how I will fare during and after surgery. I don't want them thinking I'm just another statistic, another body, another number, another surgery, another dollar sign, etc.
This means a lot to me and worries me at the same time. I don't like it. I don't like being scared. I don't like thinking I may not make it through this with good results. So I have to stay positive.
Try as I might, that is one of the hardest things for me to do because surgery is scary. And it always will be.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Sometimes They're Wrong
Being a born and raised American from a small town in the state of Wisconsin, also having a mother with a medical background and having one myself, I put a lot of faith in the medical field over the years. Well, lately, my faith in them has been slowly dwindling into nothingness.
Here's why: I have been told for years that the reason I have so much back and leg pain is because my spine is twisted funny to the right in one spot low in my lumbar spine and then again just below that it twists funny to the left. This has supposedly been causing mass amounts of pressure on my sciatic nerves that run to my legs but primarily on the right. I have been told this for over 8 years.
Well guess what? That's not what my problem is. That's not what's causing my pain. In fact, the odd twist in my spine isn't even as bad as they made it sound. It's nothing that my regular chiropractic care won't eventually get rid of and has immensely improved over the last four years. And yet, as the twists have straightened out my back pain has increased.
I have been informed recently that I have a synovial cyst pressing against my right sciatic nerve root at my L4-L5 junction. This is causing daily excruciating pain, terrible numbness, tingling and burning and a newer symptom of uncontrollable muscle spasms in my big thigh muscles.
I have done all other options to reduce the swelling of this cyst and to help maintain the pain and nothing is working. In fact, the last set of steroid injections I received made my leg pain ten times worse. So I have to face the absolute last resort to get rid of this constant pain...surgery.
I see a neurosurgeon at the end of this month for a consultation to find out what exactly they're going to be doing and if I'm going to need a spinal fusion on top of removal of the cyst.
Frankly, ladies and gentleman, I am scared. I'm scared out. of. my. mind.
On top of the daily grind and the extra doctor appointments, I'm also trying to plan a move. All of this stress, all of this anxiety I have going on in my mind is making me beyond tense. My shoulders and neck are so sore from the tension. It's unbelievable.
I need an escape, a vacation. Something. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Here's why: I have been told for years that the reason I have so much back and leg pain is because my spine is twisted funny to the right in one spot low in my lumbar spine and then again just below that it twists funny to the left. This has supposedly been causing mass amounts of pressure on my sciatic nerves that run to my legs but primarily on the right. I have been told this for over 8 years.
Well guess what? That's not what my problem is. That's not what's causing my pain. In fact, the odd twist in my spine isn't even as bad as they made it sound. It's nothing that my regular chiropractic care won't eventually get rid of and has immensely improved over the last four years. And yet, as the twists have straightened out my back pain has increased.
I have been informed recently that I have a synovial cyst pressing against my right sciatic nerve root at my L4-L5 junction. This is causing daily excruciating pain, terrible numbness, tingling and burning and a newer symptom of uncontrollable muscle spasms in my big thigh muscles.
I have done all other options to reduce the swelling of this cyst and to help maintain the pain and nothing is working. In fact, the last set of steroid injections I received made my leg pain ten times worse. So I have to face the absolute last resort to get rid of this constant pain...surgery.
I see a neurosurgeon at the end of this month for a consultation to find out what exactly they're going to be doing and if I'm going to need a spinal fusion on top of removal of the cyst.
Frankly, ladies and gentleman, I am scared. I'm scared out. of. my. mind.
On top of the daily grind and the extra doctor appointments, I'm also trying to plan a move. All of this stress, all of this anxiety I have going on in my mind is making me beyond tense. My shoulders and neck are so sore from the tension. It's unbelievable.
I need an escape, a vacation. Something. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
The Pledge of Allegiance Should Be Just That
The Pledge of Allegiance. It amazes me how something can be so controversial and how so many people can have varying views and opinions and even definitions of it when most of the time, the ones with such adamant opinions of it don't even know the entire history of the pledge. .
The Pledge of Allegiance was originally written in 1892 by Frances Bellamy, a baptist minister and a Christian Socialist. His original Pledge of Allegiance read like this: "I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all".
The original pledge was written and put into a Christian youth magazine to help instill a sense of patriotism in our nation's children and was actually a promotional stunt to help grow flag sales and sales of the magazine it was put in called The Youth's Companion.
Later on, in 1923 the words "my Flag" were changed to "the Flag of the United States" and the words "of America" were added at the end one year later in 1924. It was officially recognized by congress in this form "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all" on June 22nd, 1942.
Years later, The Knights of Columbus were noted to have added "under God" in 1951. With the help of president Eisenhower and congress the words "under God" were officially added into the Pledge of Allegiance on June 14th, 1954. Which brings us to the current Pledge of Allegiance which reads: "I pledge allegiance, to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
So there's the history of it. Now let's discuss why so many people are offended when someone refuses to say "under God" or even stand up for the pledge.
In my personal opinion,if someone doesn't wish to say the pledge at the beginning of the school day or whenever it may be said, it doesn't mean they aren't patriotic, it doesn't mean they're a terrorist, it doesn't mean they hate America. To me, it means they don't want to show their patriotism in such a way. It could also mean they don't want to repeat the pledge because of the "under God" portion since they don't believe in God.
Let me ask you this, is it really so wrong that someone who doesn't believe in God doesn't repeat the Pledge of Allegiance since it interferes with their religious beliefs?
Wasn't our country founded by a group of people who were tired of religious prosecution so they came to America for religious freedom?
This post came about because I read a post on facebook about a young man who was in school and reciting the Pledge but his classmate was not. When he asked his classmate why he wasn't reciting the pledge the classmate responded by saying he did not believe in God. The young man, a noted Christian, then punched his classmate in the face. The young man was suspended for three days and thought that it was completely unnecessary for his school to discipline him in such a way.
I'm sorry, but isn't our country all about tolerance of other cultures and religions? Aren't we called the Melting Pot of the world?
No one should be physically assaulted simply because they don't believe in the same deity as you. No one should be afraid to state their religious beliefs for fear of being punched in the face. Especially, in school.
This is a touchy topic for me, personally, because I've been a practicing Pagan for the past 17 years. In high school I was not only criticized but also ridiculed for not wanting to recite the pledge at the beginning of the day because I did not believe in God.
No child should be put through that. And if you ask me, the "under God" portion should be removed, especially with today's variety of religions and religious beliefs in our public schools. It's as though our government is asking all of our children to conform to their beliefs by reciting the pledge as it's written today and that's just not right.
Freedom of speech. Freedom of religion. Acceptance of your fellow man regardless of religious or political views. Those are the things our children should be taught at the beginning of the day.
Now don't misunderstand. I love my country. I love the freedom I'm given, the freedom our fellow Americans fight for us to have every day.
What I don't love about my country is how religious and political prosecution still run rampant. We're in the 21st century folks. Don't you think these things should be far behind us and that we should learn to at least accept our fellow human beings regardless of what their beliefs are?
I'm not talking about a Utopian society, I just want to be able to walk down the street or go to the store and not be ridiculed or looked at funny or talked about behind my back all because I don't believe in the same god as those doing the talking and giving the funny looks.
I want my girls to grow up in a world where being a Pagan doesn't make you "weird" or "a hippie". I want them to be accepted just like every other human being in our nation should be.
Is that really too much to ask? I don't think so. Changes need to be made and soon, before another child gets punched in the face for being different.
The Pledge of Allegiance was originally written in 1892 by Frances Bellamy, a baptist minister and a Christian Socialist. His original Pledge of Allegiance read like this: "I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all".
The original pledge was written and put into a Christian youth magazine to help instill a sense of patriotism in our nation's children and was actually a promotional stunt to help grow flag sales and sales of the magazine it was put in called The Youth's Companion.
Later on, in 1923 the words "my Flag" were changed to "the Flag of the United States" and the words "of America" were added at the end one year later in 1924. It was officially recognized by congress in this form "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all" on June 22nd, 1942.
Years later, The Knights of Columbus were noted to have added "under God" in 1951. With the help of president Eisenhower and congress the words "under God" were officially added into the Pledge of Allegiance on June 14th, 1954. Which brings us to the current Pledge of Allegiance which reads: "I pledge allegiance, to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
So there's the history of it. Now let's discuss why so many people are offended when someone refuses to say "under God" or even stand up for the pledge.
In my personal opinion,if someone doesn't wish to say the pledge at the beginning of the school day or whenever it may be said, it doesn't mean they aren't patriotic, it doesn't mean they're a terrorist, it doesn't mean they hate America. To me, it means they don't want to show their patriotism in such a way. It could also mean they don't want to repeat the pledge because of the "under God" portion since they don't believe in God.
Let me ask you this, is it really so wrong that someone who doesn't believe in God doesn't repeat the Pledge of Allegiance since it interferes with their religious beliefs?
Wasn't our country founded by a group of people who were tired of religious prosecution so they came to America for religious freedom?
This post came about because I read a post on facebook about a young man who was in school and reciting the Pledge but his classmate was not. When he asked his classmate why he wasn't reciting the pledge the classmate responded by saying he did not believe in God. The young man, a noted Christian, then punched his classmate in the face. The young man was suspended for three days and thought that it was completely unnecessary for his school to discipline him in such a way.
I'm sorry, but isn't our country all about tolerance of other cultures and religions? Aren't we called the Melting Pot of the world?
No one should be physically assaulted simply because they don't believe in the same deity as you. No one should be afraid to state their religious beliefs for fear of being punched in the face. Especially, in school.
This is a touchy topic for me, personally, because I've been a practicing Pagan for the past 17 years. In high school I was not only criticized but also ridiculed for not wanting to recite the pledge at the beginning of the day because I did not believe in God.
No child should be put through that. And if you ask me, the "under God" portion should be removed, especially with today's variety of religions and religious beliefs in our public schools. It's as though our government is asking all of our children to conform to their beliefs by reciting the pledge as it's written today and that's just not right.
Freedom of speech. Freedom of religion. Acceptance of your fellow man regardless of religious or political views. Those are the things our children should be taught at the beginning of the day.
Now don't misunderstand. I love my country. I love the freedom I'm given, the freedom our fellow Americans fight for us to have every day.
What I don't love about my country is how religious and political prosecution still run rampant. We're in the 21st century folks. Don't you think these things should be far behind us and that we should learn to at least accept our fellow human beings regardless of what their beliefs are?
I'm not talking about a Utopian society, I just want to be able to walk down the street or go to the store and not be ridiculed or looked at funny or talked about behind my back all because I don't believe in the same god as those doing the talking and giving the funny looks.
I want my girls to grow up in a world where being a Pagan doesn't make you "weird" or "a hippie". I want them to be accepted just like every other human being in our nation should be.
Is that really too much to ask? I don't think so. Changes need to be made and soon, before another child gets punched in the face for being different.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
When A Side Effect Is More Than Just A Side Effect
I'm bipolar, we all know this. It is extremely hard for me to control my mood swings and my temper because of this. So my hubs and I sometimes get into wicked arguments about things that are just pointless to argue about.
This morning was a huge for instance of this. A fight over a dish. Yep, that's right. A dish that I put in the sink and it clanked against another dish making a loud noise so my hubs assumed I threw it in the sink out of anger.
Yes, I was angry but not so much that I threw said dish.
Well, one misunderstanding turned into another and I started yelling because he started yelling which woke up my mother and she got pissed and it all got out of hand.
All, over a dish.
Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to not be able to control your emotions?
You just swing into a mood and there is almost nothing you can do about it but ride it out and wait for your sanity to come back.
It makes you hate yourself, makes you think it's always your fault that you're arguing with the one you love with every fiber of your being. It hurts deep down, deep in your soul.
And the reason I titled this post the way I did is because one of the side effects of my bipolar medication is irritability and lack of ability to control your anger outbursts.
Effin wonderful, right? Either I am beyond insane from mood swings or I'm irritable and there's nothing I can do about it.
So when is a side effect more than just a side effect?
When it starts to interfere with your personal relationships, is what I say.
So tomorrow I'm making an appointment with my psychiatrist and we're going to figure this shit out because I can't continue to hurt the ones I love like this. Not anymore.
There has to be something he can do, if not, I'm totally screwed.
Wish me luck.
I Don't Always Like You But I'll Always Love You
This post is brought about by an argument my husband and I had, are having, whatever you want to call it. I don't know.
Let's get down to the point. You can love someone and not like them at the same time.
For instance, I will always, always love my husband. ALWAYS. Our phrase we use with each other when we're talking all mushy gushy is "forever and always".
I will forever love this man and always will. However, I sometimes don't like him.
For instance, when he's being extra snarky and I just want a decent response from him I don't like him. Not one bit. I don't need snarky remarks when I'm trying to get something done and he's all about pushing my buttons and making jokes. That's just one for instance.
And it's OKAY to feel this way. You don't always have to like the person you love. You don't always have to like what they do or say. That's the beauty of being in a relationship with someone you love. It's about compromise.
Because life isn't perfect. Love isn't perfect. Nothing in life or on this planet is perfect and you don't always like the same things as everyone else. That's what makes you, you.
You have different interests than your best friend of some odd years but you DO share some of the same interests and that's what keeps you together.
Another for instance, my bestie of 20 years now is a huge D&B, Trance and Techno music fan. Now I'll admit, I do have a fondness for some of it but I don't usually like it. What I do like is heavy metal, rock, dubstep, goth rock and a little bit of alternative music. This doesn't mean I don't still LOVE my bestie. Hell, we've known each other for 20 years! Of course we still love each other!
But I don't always like her. She makes poor decisions sometimes, hell, who doesn't? She has a fondness for candy raisins (ewwww). She sometimes gets into situations that I couldn't imagine how. And I don't like those things about her but, again, I still love her.
My daughters, I don't like them when they're screaming because I took away the toy they've thrown across the room for the umpteenth time but I will forever love them.
I hope I'm getting my point across. You can love someone and not always like them or the things they do. And that's okay.
So don't beat yourself up the next time you see your husband feeding your daughters chocolate cake for breakfast and you realize you don't like him at that moment because at the end of the day, you still snuggle up by his side and kiss him goodnight and tell him the same thing, every night.
I love you, forever and always.
Let's get down to the point. You can love someone and not like them at the same time.
For instance, I will always, always love my husband. ALWAYS. Our phrase we use with each other when we're talking all mushy gushy is "forever and always".
I will forever love this man and always will. However, I sometimes don't like him.
For instance, when he's being extra snarky and I just want a decent response from him I don't like him. Not one bit. I don't need snarky remarks when I'm trying to get something done and he's all about pushing my buttons and making jokes. That's just one for instance.
And it's OKAY to feel this way. You don't always have to like the person you love. You don't always have to like what they do or say. That's the beauty of being in a relationship with someone you love. It's about compromise.
Because life isn't perfect. Love isn't perfect. Nothing in life or on this planet is perfect and you don't always like the same things as everyone else. That's what makes you, you.
You have different interests than your best friend of some odd years but you DO share some of the same interests and that's what keeps you together.
Another for instance, my bestie of 20 years now is a huge D&B, Trance and Techno music fan. Now I'll admit, I do have a fondness for some of it but I don't usually like it. What I do like is heavy metal, rock, dubstep, goth rock and a little bit of alternative music. This doesn't mean I don't still LOVE my bestie. Hell, we've known each other for 20 years! Of course we still love each other!
But I don't always like her. She makes poor decisions sometimes, hell, who doesn't? She has a fondness for candy raisins (ewwww). She sometimes gets into situations that I couldn't imagine how. And I don't like those things about her but, again, I still love her.
My daughters, I don't like them when they're screaming because I took away the toy they've thrown across the room for the umpteenth time but I will forever love them.
I hope I'm getting my point across. You can love someone and not always like them or the things they do. And that's okay.
So don't beat yourself up the next time you see your husband feeding your daughters chocolate cake for breakfast and you realize you don't like him at that moment because at the end of the day, you still snuggle up by his side and kiss him goodnight and tell him the same thing, every night.
I love you, forever and always.
Monday, January 20, 2014
The Great Ear Piercing Debate
Alright folks, this has been a topic I've seen rolling through my newsfeeds for weeks now. To pierce your daughters ears or not to, that is the ultimate question.
Some people think piercing a young girls ears is the same pain equivalent as a circumcision for a boy (we'll get into the great circumcision debate later on in a different post). And also the same kind of pushing your beliefs onto your child without their knowledge at such a young age because they can't tell you for themselves whether or not they want it done.
My theory is this: If you want to pierce your child's ears for whatever reason, go ahead and do it but don't be surprised if you get some backlash because not everyone shares your beliefs. Some think it's more torture than anything else and that you're doing it for cosmetic reasons that aren't morally "right".
In some religions, however, ear piercing is just as common as circumcision, if not more so, such as the Hindu culture. They pierce young girls ears and noses for the sake of their religious beliefs. Just like in the Jewish culture circumcision is done because of religious beliefs.
IF you're going to get your young daughter's ears pierced please do me a favor and don't, I repeat, DO NOT take her to the mall and have some young, inexperienced teenage girl do it with a piercing gun.
Piercing guns hurt, they are painful, they pinch and stab and it isn't always quick. Also, it's not always clean. You don't know if they actually cleaned the gun apparatus after the last piercing they did. You don't know how sterile the rest of the equipment they're using is. And from personal experience, they are NOT as gentle as an actual body piercer is.
An article I read earlier today brought about this post. I'll link it up for you right here: http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/07/why-i-took-my-7-year-old-to-a-tattoo-parlor/
I would much prefer that if you are absolutely dead set on getting your young child's ears pierced, get them done by an actual piercing PROFESSIONAL. Someone who does this on a regular everyday basis. Someone who has pierced more skin than the kiosk people in the mall could ever imagine.
Tattoo parlors and piercing parlors are far more clean than you would think. They have very strict health code standards to abide by in order to continue to do business. So if you're seriously going to do this to your child's body then do your research and find a place that has been around for a long time.
Go in on your own at first, talk with the people there, get to know what the process is going to be. Ask questions! Get answers! Just do your homework.
My personal belief, I'll let my girls tell me if and when they want their ears pierced and when or if they do, I'll be taking them to the same piercing parlor I go to for my own piercings. It's just good parenting on my part, in MY opinion, to do things that way rather than put my child through the awful torture I went through at 13 when I finally got MY ears pierced by a madwoman wielding a piercing gun at a mall kiosk.
If nothing else, at least take it into consideration and go through the pros and cons before you jump the gun.
Some people think piercing a young girls ears is the same pain equivalent as a circumcision for a boy (we'll get into the great circumcision debate later on in a different post). And also the same kind of pushing your beliefs onto your child without their knowledge at such a young age because they can't tell you for themselves whether or not they want it done.
My theory is this: If you want to pierce your child's ears for whatever reason, go ahead and do it but don't be surprised if you get some backlash because not everyone shares your beliefs. Some think it's more torture than anything else and that you're doing it for cosmetic reasons that aren't morally "right".
In some religions, however, ear piercing is just as common as circumcision, if not more so, such as the Hindu culture. They pierce young girls ears and noses for the sake of their religious beliefs. Just like in the Jewish culture circumcision is done because of religious beliefs.
IF you're going to get your young daughter's ears pierced please do me a favor and don't, I repeat, DO NOT take her to the mall and have some young, inexperienced teenage girl do it with a piercing gun.
Piercing guns hurt, they are painful, they pinch and stab and it isn't always quick. Also, it's not always clean. You don't know if they actually cleaned the gun apparatus after the last piercing they did. You don't know how sterile the rest of the equipment they're using is. And from personal experience, they are NOT as gentle as an actual body piercer is.
An article I read earlier today brought about this post. I'll link it up for you right here: http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/07/why-i-took-my-7-year-old-to-a-tattoo-parlor/
I would much prefer that if you are absolutely dead set on getting your young child's ears pierced, get them done by an actual piercing PROFESSIONAL. Someone who does this on a regular everyday basis. Someone who has pierced more skin than the kiosk people in the mall could ever imagine.
Tattoo parlors and piercing parlors are far more clean than you would think. They have very strict health code standards to abide by in order to continue to do business. So if you're seriously going to do this to your child's body then do your research and find a place that has been around for a long time.
Go in on your own at first, talk with the people there, get to know what the process is going to be. Ask questions! Get answers! Just do your homework.
My personal belief, I'll let my girls tell me if and when they want their ears pierced and when or if they do, I'll be taking them to the same piercing parlor I go to for my own piercings. It's just good parenting on my part, in MY opinion, to do things that way rather than put my child through the awful torture I went through at 13 when I finally got MY ears pierced by a madwoman wielding a piercing gun at a mall kiosk.
If nothing else, at least take it into consideration and go through the pros and cons before you jump the gun.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)