Sometimes They're Wrong

Being a born and raised American from a small town in the state of Wisconsin, also having a mother with a medical background and having one myself, I put a lot of faith in the medical field over the years.  Well, lately, my faith in them has been slowly dwindling into nothingness.

Here's why:  I have been told for years that the reason I have so much back and leg pain is because my spine is twisted funny to the right in one spot low in my lumbar spine and then again just below that it twists funny to the left.  This has supposedly been causing mass amounts of pressure on my sciatic nerves that run to my legs but primarily on the right.  I have been told this for over 8 years.

Well guess what?  That's not what my problem is.  That's not what's causing my pain.  In fact, the odd twist in my spine isn't even as bad as they made it sound.  It's nothing that my regular chiropractic care won't eventually get rid of and has immensely improved over the last four years.  And yet, as the twists have straightened out my back pain has increased.

I have been informed recently that I have a synovial cyst pressing against my right sciatic nerve root at my L4-L5 junction.  This is causing daily excruciating pain, terrible numbness, tingling and burning and a newer symptom of uncontrollable muscle spasms in my big thigh muscles. 

I have done all other options to reduce the swelling of this cyst and to help maintain the pain and nothing is working.  In fact, the last set of steroid injections I received made my leg pain ten times worse.  So I have to face the absolute last resort to get rid of this constant pain...surgery. 

I see a neurosurgeon at the end of this month for a consultation to find out what exactly they're going to be doing and if I'm going to need a spinal fusion on top of removal of the cyst. 

Frankly, ladies and gentleman, I am scared.  I'm scared out. of. my. mind. 

On top of the daily grind and the extra doctor appointments, I'm also trying to plan a move.  All of this stress, all of this anxiety I have going on in my mind is making me beyond tense.  My shoulders and neck are so sore from the tension.  It's unbelievable. 

I need an escape, a vacation.  Something.  I feel like I'm losing my mind.